Finding that just-right patch of ground, you might even say, is half the trick to growing old. Of course, as Elisa points out (with a hat-tip to Audre Lorde), all deep friendships generate something outside of themselves, some special and totally other third thing. Whether that thing can be sustained over time becomes the question. Elisa hopes to now make art of that third thing. Rebecca remains close in her mind, if far away in real life. By a certain age, you find the optimal perspective on them, ideally, just as you do with so many of life’s other disappointments.
That homage suggests that Kirsch overlooked the most proximate influence on Bukowski, or at least on his fiction. In fact, Bukowski cannot be understood apart from his midcentury Los Angeles milieu. His vision of the city was an integral part of his output, and few writers have documented its squalor more meticulously.
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When Rebecca eventually did reply, the exchange did not end well. Elisa accused her of never apologizing, including for this moment. She accused Rebecca of political grandstanding in their most recent correspondence, rather than talking about wellness. But Elisa also confessed that perhaps Rebecca happened to be catching her on a bad day—Elisa’s mother had just phoned, and that call had driven her into a rage. But as American life reconfigures itself, we may find ourselves rethinking whether our spouses and children are the only ones who deserve our binding commitments.
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But that’s not how they experience friendship betrayals in real life. I still have sense-memories of how sickened I was when this friend told me I’d been relegated to a lower league—my heart quickening, the blood thumping in my ears. Since the company has been in this field for many years, they are well aware of the university requirements. They know about the different parameters based on which the admission councils allow the enrolment. The writers write SOP while keeping the guidelines in mind. They have enough expertise and experience in writing SOP for MBA admission, creating the statement of purpose for visa, and so on.
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Check out more from this issue and find your next story to read. I’d drive along the coast looking for a place to have dinner. I wanted an expensive place that wasn’t too crowded. I could tell by looking at them from outside. You couldn’t always get a table directly overlooking the ocean unless you wanted to wait.
When Sow and Friedman went into counseling together in their 30s, Sow was unmarried, which hardly made her unusual. According to a 2020 survey by the Pew Research Center, nearly a quarter of American adults ages 30 to 49 are single—and single here doesn’t just mean unmarried; it means not dating anyone seriously. Neither woman had children, either, a fact that could of course change, but if it doesn’t, Sow and Friedman would scarcely be alone. Nearly 20 percent of American adults ages 55 to 64 have no children, and 44 percent of current nonparents ages 18 to 49 say they think it’s unlikely they ever will. Yet it’s precisely because of the atomized, customized nature of our lives that we rely on our friends so very much. We are recruiting them into the roles of people who once simply coexisted with us—parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, fellow parishioners, fellow union members, fellow Rotarians.